January 1, 2010

Well, here we are, the beginning of a new decade... I guess I don't feel very different than I did yesterday. I did not set myself any wild New Years Resolutions to lose 30 pounds this year, start exercising 5 days a week, or stop smoking.... I've lost 30 pounds in the past 18 mos, and will continue with that work... I will exercise as I'm able (and willing!) with much encouragement from my "Weight Loss Partner in Crime" (aka - She Who Keeps Me Honest) Debra. God Bless Debra, she has her hands full with this friendship, I tell ya! :) AND I quit smoking many years ago... so no worries there.
I find New Years Resolutions highly overrated, generally good for nothing, and a waste of my time. I do have a few things I want to accomplish this year, yet, I will not make them "resolutions", as then they will be destined to be lost in the shuffle, forgotten about, and once remembered, fuel my feelings of failure. I already have too much of that, and am making a conscious decision NOT to live my life riddled with guilt ("Should have, Could have, didn't...) feelings or thoughts.

First, I want to live my life in the present. I don't want to obsess about the past, or the future... I want to live each day for what it is, and rejoice in what blessings have been provided to me by God. My future is going to require a lot of planning, but I don't want to "lose living in the forest for the trees". Our time here is limited. Not only in our earthly life, but in our family's current location and lifestyle. This summer we will be relocating from the comforts of the area I have lived in all my life, and where my immediate family is, to.... North Carolina. The East Coast. The South. Wow....
My DH's job is relocating. There are not many options.... we looked at the possibility of him going to NC, and I would stay with the children - so as not to upset them during their delicate years... but the financial end of that is not pretty. It is not reasonable to think that we can afford to maintain 2 residences. So we will go!
I'm looking at this as an adventure. DH & I have been living one adventure after another for 19 years now!  I'm sure we will all "land on our feet", but as is normal, I have some anxieties. I'm concerned about the kids making the adjustment. I'm a tad worried that my mouth will open at the wrong time & offend someone... everyone here knows me well enough to know I often speak before I think -- but I don't ever mean things maliciously. Those Carolinans don't know me that well. :S

Hence the name of this blog... Dreams, Promises & Transformations. I am in a state of deep transformation currently... I'm praying that my Guardian Angel can keep up! My household life is in transformation, as well as my spiritual life.
We are dialoging with the children as much as we can. Little Bit listens as long as she can, then walks out of the room. She will be 16  this summer & is at a difficult age to move away from all her friends. However, I'm certain she will also 'land on her feet'. She just has to convincve herself she can. Goose listens, very quietly, then cries when we are alone & Dad isn't around. He's 12, and going through his own hormaonal issues, if you know what I mean! D-Rock will graduate from HS this spring (E-gads!) and will have to decide for himself where to attend college. His comment to me was, "I think this will be a very difficult decision wherever I go". I found this pretty insightful for a 17 yr old boy. Our eldest child, Stella, is married & has born The Axis to Which the Earth Revolves-- Bells. Stella's DH has joined the Navy & is awaiting Basic Training. Then they believe they will be living in Charleston for the next 18 mos-2 yrs while he is in school.

I am also beginning to read a book titled "Simpler Living, Compassionate Life- A Christian Perspective" .... something I long desperately to do - SIMPLIFY my life! Not as easily said as done, especially with the transitions. However, I am hopeful I can make some of this Simplification a part of my Transition. I want/ need to downsize my earthly posessions. My home in NC will be a "modest" home (but the big pretty ones look SOOO nice!! :)). I have been making an effort to do more fresh, home cooking over processed, pre-packaged, preservative- laden meals for my family. They are NOT taking it well! :) I am basically trying to become a better steward of my resources & seeing where I can do the most to make the world a better place, not just for me, but for my neighbors locally as well as globally.

Today I am Grateful for: sleeping in a little bit, spending the day with my DH, a warm home to stay in, and plenty of food to put out to have ALL the kids over tonight, as well as my dear baby sister & her family. Life is good, indeed! Thanks be to God!